


Five Words, Five Scenes

by quartzguts



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, M/M, One Word Prompts, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 02:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18791338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartzguts/pseuds/quartzguts
Summary: It takes a long time for them to get to where they are, but they wouldn't trade it for anything.Based off of a randomized five word prompt: frail, ice, woebegone, ruby, and layer.





	Five Words, Five Scenes

**Author's Note:**

> The word prompt was generated using fifteenminutesoffiction.com's grab bag. The link is here: http://www.fifteenminutesoffiction.com/grabbag.asp
> 
> Not sure it's still strictly necessary to tag KHIII spoilers, but eh. Why not.

-

 

Under the Light of a New Moon

 

The newly formed Kingdom Hearts is startlingly underwhelming. Its light is pale and weak, unable to be cast further than a few meters away from its source. As such, it barely illuminates the World that Never Was, only setting the skies above aglow.

 

“What do you think?” Xemnas asks him as they gaze up at it together.

 

Saïx considers his answer. “It seems rather frail,” he says slowly, watching his Superior from the corner of his eye. Xemnas is obsessive when it comes to Kingdom Hearts, and Saïx doesn’t want to risk angering him.

 

Although, come to think of it, he’s never known the Superior to fake anger.

 

Xemnas seems to consider his response for a moment. “It will grow stronger as Roxas and Xion collect more hearts.”

 

“I see.”

 

They stand in silence for several moments more, watching the light of their false moon pulse. Xemnas keeps casting glances his way, and Saïx’s stomach does flips under the attention. As usual, he has no idea what Xemnas is thinking.

 

“Is there something you want, sir?” he says eventually.

 

Xemnas hums. “Perhaps.”

 

“...Sir?”

 

Xemnas turns on his heel and heads for the door. Saïx thinks he's going to leave, but then he stops at the door and flicks off the light. The lobby is immediately flushed with darkness, save for the slight glimmer of light that Kingdom Hearts struggles to deliver to them.

 

Xemnas returns to Saïx's side and makes a soft sound of disappointment. "You're right. It is quite frail."

 

"It's hard to believe that this will be the thing that will give us our hearts back."

 

"Indeed."

 

Another moment of silence. Saïx looks over the the Superior and finds himself staring. The light makes Xemnas's skin and hair look paler than normal, unhealthy and dull. His eyes are still the same fiery orange as always, made more vivid by the darkness in wild contrast with the rest of him. Saïx's heart - the physical one, of course - skips a beat.

 

Xemnas notices him staring. "Do you need something, VII?" He asks, voice emotionless and flat as always.

 

Saïx doesn't know. He feels like there _is_ something he needs, but he can't place his finger on it. There's a weird sensation bubbling up through his body, originating in his stomach and then travelling to his heart, his lungs, and finally his throat, blocking all sound from escaping. It isn't a physical feeling, but it can't be an emotional one either - Saïx is at a loss to explain it.

 

The Superior is still waiting for an answer that Saïx doesn't have. They've reached an impasse. With shocking certainty, Saïx knows that they'll never move past it.

 

He decides it doesn't matter and invites Xemnas back to his room anyway.

 

-

 

Before Darkness Prevails and Light Expires

 

This new world is absolutely _freezing._ The whole place is covered in ice and snow, although Saïx is sure that it’s supposed to be summertime. He shivers, feeling completely underdressed despite his coat and boots. He’d actually forgone a long sleeve shirt under the coat and is instead wearing a tanktop, a decision he’d immediately regretted when they stepped out of the darkness and into this out-of-place winter wonderland.

 

Xemnas looks relatively unaffected, simply gazing out at their surroundings with vague disinterest. “You said this world was called Arendelle, yes?”

 

“That is correct, Superior,” Saïx bites out. “My apologies. I did not know the weather would be so… disagreeable.”

 

“I actually quite enjoy the cold,” Xemnas says. He’s about to say something else when he looks back to Saïx and pauses. “You do not, I presume?”

 

Saïx’s teeth clatter. “I am fine, Superior.”

 

Xemnas cocks his head, then takes a step forward and envelopes Saïx in his arms. Saïx freezes while Xemnas rubs his hands up and down his back. The heat from the friction combined with their mixing body heat does make up for some of the cold, and Saïx relaxes into Xemnas’s hold. _Hold_ because it's not an embrace. It can't be.

 

He sighs. Xemnas hasn’t held him like this since the days of the old organization. It feels nice. But he also knows that no matter how much he wants it to, it won’t last.

 

Xemnas hums, the sound deep and soothing, and reaches out to catch a snowflake on the tip of his finger. “Ice can be quite beautiful, can’t it? But it’s so fickle. It melts as soon as it touches heat.” He rubs at the base of Saïx’s neck. “That’s why it’s more lovely at night, under the light of the moon.”

 

Saïx instantly knows what Xemnas means. He knows that he and Vexen are planning to betray the organization. And, for some reason Saïx can’t discern, Xemnas isn’t going to tell the other Superiors. If he was planning to, he wouldn’t have said anything.

 

He’s warning Saïx to be more careful. If he’s noticed, the others will too.

 

“Yes, Xemnas. I understand completely.”

 

Xemnas squeezes him just a little tighter. "Good."

 

-

 

After Death

 

Saïx shudders under the weight of the darkness surrounding him. He feels like he's floating, in a dream or some other altered reality, but he knows that isn't what's happening. He's dead, and as all dead things do he's fallen to the darkness. It's not the same as when he became a nobody, but it’s still similar somehow; ancient memories of the plunge, of darkness seeping into his body and soul and mind and heart as Xehanort's keyblade struck his chest rise up, filling his head until he feels like he's about to explode.

 

At least he was able to see Lea one last time. At least he was able to tell him the truth.

 

Saïx laughs to himself, hollow and broken. Finally, at the brink of death, his more positive emotions (love, friendship, peacefulness) had returned to him, only to leave and make him feel worse than ever. He'll die shortly, fade away into nothing, and suddenly everything he's done in life seems so stupid. He should've held onto Lea tighter. Should've treated Roxas and Xion with kindness. Should've told them the truth about what he was doing….

 

Should've tried to help Xemnas more. Should've tried to save him from himself.

 

Would that have even been possible?

 

No, no, it doesn't matter. The success isn't what matters. Only the trying.

 

Saïx coughs, and the darkness rushes forth into his mouth. It's filling his gut and his lungs, leaving sticky black handprints all over his insides. It’s the same feeling he got whenever Xemnas touched him, but only in an ephemeral way; Xemnas's touch was filled with darkness, but always softer, always sadder. It was what drew Saïx to him, time and time again. What kept him near. All of those soft, sad shadows in his soul….

 

The darkness surges around him. It's coming now, to wash him away. To destroy everything he is, from his body to his heart to everything in between. Memories gone. Feelings gone, but only the good ones.

 

All that's left are the bad. Isa had liked poetry, so Saïx has no end of words to describe how he's feeling. Despaired. Miserable. Woebegone. Bereaved.

 

Bereaved over… who, exactly? Lea is still alive. Roxas and Xion are still alive. Xemnas is still -

 

Ah. That's it. He's fine now, but he won't be for long. Saïx had known it. Xemnas had known it. Even Ansem had known it. Those kids had the power to defeat the darkness, to ensure that light prevailed. All of the battles the old man had planned were sure to be lost.

 

Xemnas would feel like this too, then. Despaired, miserable, woebegone. But mostly just lonely.

 

Saïx fades away wishing they could've died together.

 

-

 

In Another Life

 

Isa isn't used to being alive again yet. He could always feel - knows that now, although he didn't know it then - but it's so much more intense now. So much wilder. The heart of a nobody is weak. The heart of a human is infinitely stronger, a whole different beast.

 

Isa had asked Sora, privately to avoid the scrutiny of the others, what Xemnas's last words had been. When Sora told him, Isa silently agreed.

 

It takes incredible strength to be human. Isa isn't sure he has it.

 

He's always been somewhat nocturnal, so he often stays up late and thinks. He shares his rented house with Lea and Roxas and Xion, but they sleep together in the same room downstairs while Isa coops himself up on the second floor. All alone in his tiny bedroom. It's the same as it was in the organization, except it isn't because he could go downstairs at any time and knock on their door. Could seek comfort and companionship if he wants. If.

 

He's getting better at talking openly about his feelings, at letting the jealousy out before it becomes toxic and poisons him. Xion has realized that affection from her and Roxas help mediate it somewhat; it doesn't feel like Axel abandoned him if his new friends are also Isa's friends. Roxas is still too wary to trust him, which Isa expected. Just being able to live alongside them is more than he deserves.

 

He doesn't want comfort right now, though. Doesn't want friendship either. What he wants is something much warmer, something so blisteringly hot that it threatens to burn him up from the inside out. His heart is ruby red and violent, bursting forth with some mixture of emotions and desires Isa can't identify.

 

He wants Xemnas back. He wants him so badly he could cry.

 

He's finally broken through that impasse, but Xemnas isn't here to share his victory. It feels hollow, and cold, and dull awful blue.

 

Isa shuts his eyes in an attempt to keep the tears in. Just because he's learned to let go of his jealousy doesn't mean he's let go of his sadness.

 

-

 

Not Long After

 

Isa is sitting at home, bundled up on the couch when it happens. Lea is out with Roxas and Xion, leaving Isa to weather the cold on his own. Not that he particularly likes cuddling for body heat. In any case, the heater is on, but the snow falling outside gives enough of an illusion of cold that Isa still feels the need to bundle up. There's a knock on the door, and Isa groans, not wanting to get up but knowing that he has to.

 

He pushes off his layers of blankets and makes his way to the door, shivering with each step against the cold tile floor. He peers through the door viewer like he always does. His heart stops.

 

Xemnas is standing there. Isa flings open the door.

 

He looks startled; it's a weird expression on Xemnas, but only because Isa is used to seeing him completely emotionless. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, like he’s trying to say something but can’t find the words.

 

He’s shivering. Isa grabs his hand and pulls him into the house.

 

His skin is absolutely freezing; he isn’t wearing gloves, and his long sleeved shirt looks far too thin for the weather. There’s melting snowflakes in his silver hair, falling as icy water down his face. Isa leads him over to the coch, pushes him down into his nest of blankets, and goes to the kitchen to pour some coffee. He almost burns himself on the pot when he grabs it. There’s a slight panic rising in his chest. He feels like if he takes too long Xemnas will simply vanish, disappear like Saïx did when he died only months ago.

 

Xemnas is still there when he goes back to the living room. He’s pulled the blankets around himself and is freely shaking. When Isa hands him the mug, he eagerly takes it and holds it close to his mouth, the steam rising over his face.

 

“You were right. The cold is disagreeable,” he says quietly.

 

Hearing his voice is different from seeing and touching him, somehow. It’s setting in that he’s real, he’s here, and for once this isn’t a wistful dream. Isa wipes furiously at the tears welling up in his eyes.

 

He wants to say a million things. The only word he can manage is “how.”

 

Xemnas looks up at him, and for the first time Isa notices that his eyes are blue, not gold. “IV and VI - no, Even and Ienzo brought me back. Something about replicas and finding what was left of me in Terra’s subconscious.”

 

Isa flips open his phone in a hurry and checks their group chat. Neither Even nor Ienzo have said anything all day. “I find it hard to believe they’d revive you without saying anything.”

 

Xemnas laughs a little. It isn’t a particularly happy sound. “I only woke up today. I also received the distinct impression from them that I was not supposed to leave the laboratory.”

 

“And yet, here you are,” Isa says, sitting down next to Xemnas. He looks almost cute, bundled up in layer upon layer of blankets.

 

“I may have pestered them until they told me where you lived,” Xemnas says. “I also may have given them the impression that I would not leave if they left me alone for a few minutes.”

 

“Alright, so you wanted to see me,” Isa says. He reaches over to push some of Xemnas’s hair, still wet with melted snow, away from his face. “Why?”

 

“I just… wanted to.”

 

“Really.”

 

Xemnas sighs. “Saïx, I -”

 

“It’s Isa now.”

 

“Isa, then. I can't explain it. I just needed to see you."

 

Isa hums, moving to settle himself against Xemnas. He sets the cup down on the coffee table and turns towards Isa, shifting so that they're almost cuddling. Xemnas isn't shivering anymore. "First it's want, now it's need," Isa says. "Make up your damn mind."

 

He's caught Xemnas off guard, for once. "I'm sorry, I -"

 

"It was a joke, Xemnas."

 

"A joke," he says, relieved. "I don't think I've ever heard you make one of those."

 

"A lot has changed." Isa situates himself under the blanket. Xemnas's clothes are still wet. Isa knows he should go get him some fresh ones, but the only clothes in the house that would fit Xemnas are his own. It doesn't feel right to dress Xemnas in _his_ clothes until they get past… whatever this is.

 

"Indeed," Xemnas says. He relaxes, resting his head on top of Isa's and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "How _much_ has changed, exactly?"

 

"Not too much," Isa murmurs. "I still love you."

 

Xemnas laughs again, but it's lighter. Sweeter. Isa closes his eyes and laughs, too. The snow is still falling outside, but his whole being feels warmer.

 

"I think I love you too," Xemnas says. "Not that I know what it's supposed to feel like, but…."

 

Isa smiles. "How sweet. Now get up. You could do with a hot shower, and I have to call Even and tell him where his runaway experiment is."

 

"But I'm comfortable like this."

 

Isa snuggles closer to Xemnas, resting his head against his chest. His heart is beating fast. "So am I."


End file.
